This seems a very useful distinction. However, I think that perhaps there are times when pure 'helping' is needed -- additional energy required to move things in the direction they need to go. In that sense, helping can be a useful and humble thing to do -- accepting things as they are and adding one's effort or energy to move things in the needed direction. On the other hand, I think that trying to 'fix', is always problematic. For example, I sometimes have a tendency to try to 'fix' situations that seem to be lacking recognition of what I consider important wisdom related to the situation. The 'fixer' thinks that they 'know best,' -- an egotistical attitude that tends to attract resistance. At present, I am praying for my stepson and wife whose marriage seems to be disintegrating. I am also praying for a grand daughter who has become alienated from her father, who is in the process of a painful divorce. I find myself wishing that they could see things in the 'enlightened' way that I see them. This definitely will not work. I need to emphahse and accept their attitudes and feelings as they are. Nor am I very clear on how I can 'serve' in such circumstances??
On Mar 16, 2017 jturner_crowson wrote:
This seems a very useful distinction. However, I think that perhaps there are times when pure 'helping' is needed -- additional energy required to move things in the direction they need to go. In that sense, helping can be a useful and humble thing to do -- accepting things as they are and adding one's effort or energy to move things in the needed direction. On the other hand, I think that trying to 'fix', is always problematic. For example, I sometimes have a tendency to try to 'fix' situations that seem to be lacking recognition of what I consider important wisdom related to the situation. The 'fixer' thinks that they 'know best,' -- an egotistical attitude that tends to attract resistance. At present, I am praying for my stepson and wife whose marriage seems to be disintegrating. I am also praying for a grand daughter who has become alienated from her
father, who is in the process of a painful divorce. I find myself wishing that they could see things in the 'enlightened' way that I see them. This definitely will not work. I need to emphahse and accept their attitudes and feelings as they are. Nor am I very clear on how I can 'serve' in such circumstances??