In order for the power of forgiveness to work, we need to make a clear distinction between real forgiveness (of someone who has confessed, repented, and made restitution, such that the relationship is fully restored) and mere release of emotions (toward someone who has not taken the steps to restore the relationship).
If the person who robbed or cheated you hasn't paid you back, you may want or even need to release your emotions and carry on with your life, but claiming to have "forgiven" him is dishonest, counterproductive, and harmful to society.
If the person who stepped on you (because s/he couldn't see you), called you by the wrong name (because s/he can't remember anything), or bit your hand (because s/he is an infant) hasn't confessed and repented, you probably don't blame him/her, but claiming to have "forgiven" this person is an unnecessarily confusing misuse of language since what you're actually doing is not holding the person accountable.
I've read a lot of things about "forgiveness" that I think were actually harmful, whether they were meant to be harmful or just carelessly written. We all need to live in a society that holds competent adults accountable for their actions.
On Sep 15, 2016 Priscilla King wrote:
In order for the power of forgiveness to work, we need to make a clear distinction between real forgiveness (of someone who has confessed, repented, and made restitution, such that the relationship is fully restored) and mere release of emotions (toward someone who has not taken the steps to restore the relationship).
If the person who robbed or cheated you hasn't paid you back, you may want or even need to release your emotions and carry on with your life, but claiming to have "forgiven" him is dishonest, counterproductive, and harmful to society.
If the person who stepped on you (because s/he couldn't see you), called you by the wrong name (because s/he can't remember anything), or bit your hand (because s/he is an infant) hasn't confessed and repented, you probably don't blame him/her, but claiming to have "forgiven" this person is an unnecessarily confusing misuse of language since what you're actually doing is not holding the person accountable.
I've read a lot of things about "forgiveness" that I think were actually harmful, whether they were meant to be harmful or just carelessly written. We all need to live in a society that holds competent adults accountable for their actions.