Overall, I enjoyed his TED talk for the overall message he was conveying. I had never listened to or read any of his books as my impressions of him before was he is probably a slick, motivational, charismatic, smooth-talking type of salesman, the kind I avoid and detest; however, even though I still feel that way to a certain extent, I looked beyond his technique, style, language to his overall message and found it quite inspiring.
However, I question some of his words. At 13:12 he says we always meet the four needs he lists, the 4th need of those are connection and love. and he says that it is personality-based.
In such a disconnected world, I don't believe we meet our needs for authentic connection and love, ever if rarely. Authentic meaning being honest, vulnerable, open-minded, dropping judgments, agendas, preferences, and just being with someone and listening to them without fixing, controlling, or advising them what to do. I believe connection, love and intimacy are us at our core before we took on pain, beliefs, ideas, opinions, etc. so it isn't personality-based, it is a core fundamental need, our brains are hard-wired for connection. So, I see 4, 5, 6 as being needs of the spirit.
But, that is just my opinion. I've had severe OCD and depression most of my life because I avoided connection, love and friendship because I thought I was deeply flawed, unacceptable, and unlovable, and I didn't allow myself to feel the emotional pain I felt by my interpretations of what people said or did by suppressing it instead of feeling it until later in my life. The number one fear is that we are unacceptable and that we are not enough.
On Aug 4, 2015 Chuck Koehler wrote:
Overall, I enjoyed his TED talk for the overall message he was conveying. I had never listened to or read any of his books as my impressions of him before was he is probably a slick, motivational, charismatic, smooth-talking type of salesman, the kind I avoid and detest; however, even though I still feel that way to a certain extent, I looked beyond his technique, style, language to his overall message and found it quite inspiring.
However, I question some of his words. At 13:12 he says we always meet the four needs he lists, the 4th need of those are connection and love. and he says that it is personality-based.
In such a disconnected world, I don't believe we meet our needs for authentic connection and love, ever if rarely. Authentic meaning being honest, vulnerable, open-minded, dropping judgments, agendas, preferences, and just being with someone and listening to them without fixing, controlling, or advising them what to do. I believe connection, love and intimacy are us at our core before we took on pain, beliefs, ideas, opinions, etc. so it isn't personality-based, it is a core fundamental need, our brains are hard-wired for connection. So, I see 4, 5, 6 as being needs of the spirit.
But, that is just my opinion. I've had severe OCD and depression most of my life because I avoided connection, love and friendship because I thought I was deeply flawed, unacceptable, and unlovable, and I didn't allow myself to feel the emotional pain I felt by my interpretations of what people said or did by suppressing it instead of feeling it until later in my life. The number one fear is that we are unacceptable and that we are not enough.
Namaste,
Chuck