I agree with previous commenter... read this article while listening to the news on TV? Seems to me you couldn't do either task well. When I hit the part about not multitasking, that was the exact situation that came to mind for me: I often have my laptop open with TV on, but when I have to read something requiring more than minimal attention, I mute the TV. Sp to read the suggestion I do both... well, like I said, I wouldn't be giving this article much attention at all if I did.

What I'm suggesting is, this sort of thought pattern is your usual way of coping. It isn't that you like these beliefs or want them, they just "are" and this is a way to "be", like you said. It sounds like this is the way you have been for a while. When we have this kind of pattern, and believe me, we ALL do, it is constructive to see why we continue to have them. For example, there may be a way that people sympathize with you that is comforting and so the self dislike will bring you the heart of understanding from another that feels good. But my guess is that it simply leaves you in the same place afterwards, and you have come to a place where the old pattern simply doesn't serve you anymore and you want to move forward beyond the self limiting belief.

Mind/body practice requires that you look into the sensations happening in your body when you are experiencing thoughts. And with a good practitioner, they can help you build awareness around these patterns and help you break free through energizing the underlying thoughts and emotions that stay buried underneath coping skills. The fear of rejection that you spoke of could be energized in a way that allows you to go into the fear and help you vocalize the actual need around that fear. Being able to vocalize the need will shift the fear somewhat and bring you more empowerment, thereby building more self belief. This process is powerful and requires courage but can make dramatic shifts.

I practice Core Energetics. You can read more about it on the web. My website is cynthiakagoshima.com but there are more and more practitioners out there with lots of great explanations, I encourage you to read about them, try them and see for yourself. I don't know where you are located but being able to do an in-person session(s) would be the most beneficial. It changed my life and I also, had very little self love when I started. Its Possible!