Dear John: Thank you. Your inspiring story not only moved me, I recognized myself in it. Recently divorced and 18 months into recovery, I found myself unable to stop crying. It went on day after day in spite of therapy and the 12 steps. One day, in desperation, I knelt on the floor and prayed to a god I didn't believe in to tell me what I was doing wrong: "Why am I so miserable if I am trying my best?" When I stopped crying, I got up and sat at the dressing table to fix my make up and that was when I heard the voice that was not mine. It said: "Brianda, life doesn't owe you anything." I understood: all I had done all my life was complain about what I didn't have; never had I said thank you for all I did have. My life changed in that moment as I ran madly through my house thanking the Universe for the walls, floors, ceilings, furniture... even for the dust that had gathered on the tables. Little by little, as I became thankful for more and more things, my heart opened and I fell in love with life, with my life. Today I have two prayers: "I'm willing" and "Thank you". So Thank You John for hearing the voice too: it is a gift to know I am not special, just one more. Brianda
On Aug 18, 2013 Brianda wrote:
Dear John: Thank you. Your inspiring story not only moved me, I recognized myself in it. Recently divorced and 18 months into recovery, I found myself unable to stop crying. It went on day after day in spite of therapy and the 12 steps. One day, in desperation, I knelt on the floor and prayed to a god I didn't believe in to tell me what I was doing wrong: "Why am I so miserable if I am trying my best?" When I stopped crying, I got up and sat at the dressing table to fix my make up and that was when I heard the voice that was not mine. It said: "Brianda, life doesn't owe you anything."
I understood: all I had done all my life was complain about what I didn't have; never had I said thank you for all I did have. My life changed in that moment as I ran madly through my house thanking the Universe for the walls, floors, ceilings, furniture... even for the dust that had gathered on the tables. Little by little, as I became thankful for more and more things, my heart opened and I fell in love with life, with my life.
Today I have two prayers: "I'm willing" and "Thank you". So Thank You John for hearing the voice too: it is a gift to know I am not special, just one more.
Brianda