I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing. One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
On Sep 1, 2011 Mary wrote:
I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing. One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.