I have a totally different interpretation of the thesis as suggested of how to deal with wrongly mean-spirited attitudes and actions by another person. I've been involved in similar but different situations where the other person is functionally superior or equal (a manager / a bully) who has no intent of understanding a reasonable cause for my failure to perform to his/her expectations, i.e., not be late due to a client meeting, but simply uses the advantage of finding me wrong to exert or enhance his/her authority to continue their agenda of harassment.
I disagree that I should roll "belly-up" and accept blame and allow the unreasonable bully more ammunition to generate their own anger and berate me now and again in the future. Bottom-line: if the other person is so unreasonable as to not accept a logical cause for a situation that is in no manner my fault, they will continue to make my life hell (as I once allowed to happen, but never again...) Therefore it is time to have a closed-door heart-to-heart with the harassing person - - - after evaluating my options (Ethics Board, lawyer, job change, fist in their gut, retirement, etc.).
In no case, allow the actions/attitude by the harassing person to continue un-checked. If you are not at fault, your apologizing will not 'make it better' - the situation will only worsen. Relations with bullys and other unreasonable persons cannot be improved with apologies, they feed their sickness on the weakness of others. Life is too short and of too much value to be treated as a doormat.
On Aug 3, 2013 TravelingPat wrote:
I have a totally different interpretation of the thesis as suggested of how to deal with wrongly mean-spirited attitudes and actions by another person. I've been involved in similar but different situations where the other person is functionally superior or equal (a manager / a bully) who has no intent of understanding a reasonable cause for my failure to perform to his/her expectations, i.e., not be late due to a client meeting, but simply uses the advantage of finding me wrong to exert or enhance his/her authority to continue their agenda of harassment.
I disagree that I should roll "belly-up" and accept blame and allow the unreasonable bully more ammunition to generate their own anger and berate me now and again in the future. Bottom-line: if the other person is so unreasonable as to not accept a logical cause for a situation that is in no manner my fault, they will continue to make my life hell (as I once allowed to happen, but never again...) Therefore it is time to have a closed-door heart-to-heart with the harassing person - - - after evaluating my options (Ethics Board, lawyer, job change, fist in their gut, retirement, etc.).
In no case, allow the actions/attitude by the harassing person to continue un-checked. If you are not at fault, your apologizing will not 'make it better' - the situation will only worsen. Relations with bullys and other unreasonable persons cannot be improved with apologies, they feed their sickness on the weakness of others. Life is too short and of too much value to be treated as a doormat.