Our thoughts, feelings, and actions are totally our responsibility.. And I always love techniques for helping to add perspective! Especially ones that lead to compassion and understanding.. But, I must say that there's another side to the coin. I think having compassion for others is always good.. But as someone who tends to have an abundance of compassion for others, I would add that it's very important to know yourself and what behaviors, treatment, etc you accept and what you don't accept. I relate a lot to what Louise said.. about thinking that if you did everything "right" and always had compassion for others, and the right perspective, etc.. everything would be okay.. But it's not true. We can live through anything and take the perspective we want, but it's not my fault if someone says something cruel or is abusive in some way. I think this is especially hard for females, who are taught to be compassionate and to ignore anger. Treating yourself the way you want to be treating, not lowering yourself for anyone, and treating others respectfully is the key. If someone crosses one of your boundaries, it's important to address it, to set limits and respond accordingly. Everyone is truly amazing. And, treating them with respect, hopefully we will be able to relate and get along. If not, you've done what you can do. Sometimes people just take time to understand each other.. In the mean time, do what is good for you and others.. And hopefully they'll be a chance to connect down the line ;)
On Oct 24, 2012 LeePgh wrote:
Our thoughts, feelings, and actions are totally our responsibility.. And I always love techniques for helping to add perspective! Especially ones that lead to compassion and understanding.. But, I must say that there's another side to the coin. I think having compassion for others is always good.. But as someone who tends to have an abundance of compassion for others, I would add that it's very important to know yourself and what behaviors, treatment, etc you accept and what you don't accept. I relate a lot to what Louise said.. about thinking that if you did everything "right" and always had compassion for others, and the right perspective, etc.. everything would be okay.. But it's not true. We can live through anything and take the perspective we want, but it's not my fault if someone says something cruel or is abusive in some way. I think this is especially hard for females, who are taught to be compassionate and to ignore anger. Treating yourself the way you want to be treating, not lowering yourself for anyone, and treating others respectfully is the key. If someone crosses one of your boundaries, it's important to address it, to set limits and respond accordingly. Everyone is truly amazing. And, treating them with respect, hopefully we will be able to relate and get along. If not, you've done what you can do. Sometimes people just take time to understand each other.. In the mean time, do what is good for you and others.. And hopefully they'll be a chance to connect down the line ;)