Do We Need to Love Ourselves Before We Love Others?

Studies linking self-compassion and compassion for others show different results. Some studies show compassion dependent on a person’s own well-being in that if they are doing well, they will treat themselves and others well, whereas if they are dealing with difficulties, they may not. Even in those circumstances, some people are compassionate toward others but not toward themselves. “…being compassionate toward ourselves may relate to the values we uphold, and these values in turn affect how we treat others.” Researchers found that training in self-compassion, other-focused compassion, or loving-kindness meditation increased both self-compassion and compassion toward others. “This study suggests that boosting one type of compassion can potentially impact the other.” As one researcher said, “The compassion we cultivate for ourselves directly transmits itself to others.”

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