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Dec 14, 2011

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me ... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. " --Shel Silverstein

Stepping Out of the "Should" Trap

"'I should make more money. I should lose weight. I should volunteer more often.' In saying 'should' so often, I found myself feeling trapped by a sense of obligation and expectation. I felt this vague pressure to conform to external standards, to be someone or do something. It felt like just being me wasn't okay. I felt pushed to follow a particular path, behave in specific ways, and believe certain things. In observing my mind and growing towards a more compassionate life, I realized that I had internalized both the messages and the method of the 'shoulds.' Breaking free of the "should" trap included five big steps for me: understanding the trap, choosing to change, recognizing the 'should' in my thoughts and emotions, releasing the 'should,' and looking inward to find my authentic self." Jo Holsten shares her wonderful reflection.