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May 19, 2010
"Change your language and you change your thoughts." --Karl Albrecht
The I of Marriage
We all know there's no "I" in team. But a new study suggests that having too much "I" in marriage might be a problem as well. In a study that examined over 150 middle-aged and older married couples as they discussed a recent conflict, UC Berkeley researchers found that couples who used words like "we," "our," and "us" displayed high levels of positive emotional behavior and low levels of physiological stress. On the other hand, spouses who used "me/you" language experienced high levels of negative emotional behaviors and said they were more dissatisfied with their marriages. "It appears that pronouns," the authors conclude, "a seemingly innocuous part of everyday speech, provide an important window into the inner workings of intimate relationships."