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Aug 13, 2024
"… if we wait for the perfect time, the perfect person, the perfected self, we’ll stay frozen in an idea of love. But if we fearlessly engage with the life spread out before us, we will be rewarded with a heart that can hold it all — happiness and messiness, clarity and confusion, love and loss." --Pema Chodron
Iris Murdoch: How to See More Clearly and Love More Purely
Maria Popova explores essays by Iris Murdoch around self-knowledge and relationships. She stresses that self-knowledge is a lifetime journey. When we do not see progress, or fail in our strivings, we may become anxious “where we feel the discrepancy between our ideals and our personality.” The discrepancies may show up as hurtful to others, and create more anxiety. She writes, “for we are always divided between our will and our personality, the conscious and the unconscious.” The reality is that everyone is in an ongoing, unique, and personal journey of self-knowledge. With awareness and acceptance of that reality, we can have truer relationships. Maria sums up: “It is only through obedience to reality that we can ever see clearly enough -- ourselves or another -- to be in loving relationship, by discovering, in Murdoch’s lovely words, ‘the real which is the proper object of love.’”
BE THE CHANGE
Do you seek perfection in some aspect of your own life or someone else's that causes anxiety? Try a little patience with the individual pace of life, or accept some imperfection and messiness - embrace the real.
